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[ulaulakahuna]

[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]

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[broceanic]

[he sees that, and with considerable effort shifts the big alligator to One Handed Hold and grabs the bag off its tail. he follows nanu in, seemingly... kind of reluctant to actually put krookodile down.

unfortunately, he can't keep the pokémon from its trainer-- no matter now much he loves him. archie carefully lets krookodile down, giving it a pat on the head and taking the bag proper.]

This is edible. Where's the kitchen?

[ulaulakahuna]

[Luckily for Archie, Krookodile knows that whatever's in that box is edible, and thus promptly starts following the ex-pirate as soon as he's put down. Nanu wordlessly points toward the kitchen - a doorless archway connecting to the living area - and gives Krookodile a few hearty pats on the head as a welcome home.]

[tap tap tap goes the ground-type's nails as he follows Archie and The Box]

Edible by whose standards?

[broceanic]

Human, [he says, rolling his eyes. he gives krook some pats as well-- spoiling the crocodile-- then pulls out what's in the bag.

it's a cake. a basic square one with some rainbow frosting. thanks for listening to my emotional breakdown. archie does not comment on it, just takes it out and goes back to petting krookodile.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu stares at the cake.]

[For a solid minute.]

...Did you bake this, or did you pay some baker to write that line for you?

[broceanic]

They actually sell these in a bakery. I think they know their Otherworlder customer base.

[...]

I made it, you ridiculous old man. Though I wouldn't be surprised if there were a store like that...

[ulaulakahuna]

[now it's nanu's turn to roll his eyes]

You bake.

[flatly, not out of the dumb stereotype that delegates women to baking, but out of fear for his life]

[broceanic]

[unfortunately, the expression that crosses his face for a moment seems to indicate he thinks nanu is perpetuating that stereotype.]

I started so I could make poképuffs and poffins cheaper. Why is that so weird? Everyone who journeyed as a kid has some cooking ability, right?

[ulaulakahuna]

Oh, good. I was afraid you'd just started. [it's just as dry as the rest of his tone, but it is better that he knows Archie's been doing it for a long time] ...Don't give me that look. I'm not fond of food poisoning.

[he's absolutely looking at the cake like he's trying to decipher if it's safe, though...]

[broceanic]

I'm thirty three, ya cheeky bastard. I think even I could get to this age and know how to make a goddamn cake.

[huff!]

Give it to your Pokémon if you don't want it. I don't care. [he does care.]

[ulaulakahuna]

You care.

[Krookodile excitedly shifts from one foot to the other. Yes!! Please give to pokémon!!]

[But Nanu just rolls his eyes again, turning to a cupboard and waving a dismissive hand at Archie.]

Sit down, fool, I'll get some plates.

[broceanic]

[despite just asserting his age, archie makes a face that isn't unlike a pouty child who's just been told he's been grounded as he sits in the table seat. he even huffs and crosses his arms.]]

Fine.

[ulaulakahuna]

[He looks back once he has two plates in hand. Hmm...maybe he's been too hard on Archie.]

[...nah]

...Now, you better put on a new attitude if you want dessert, young man.

[broceanic]

You didn't even make me a main course!

[he bangs his fists on the table.]

This family is the worst!

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu goes to grab some forks, too. Might as well eat civilized-like if they're using plates, he guesses.]

[Archie's reply actually gets him to chuckle, though. After getting out forks, he grabs an orange out of a bowl Anabel set on the counter, and then two oran berries. He then sets the shitty excuse for a meal on a plate and puts it in front of Archie.]

There. Don't back-sass me, I spent all day slaving over a hot fruit bowl for you.

[broceanic]

[time to do what he does best: make this weird.

he picks up the orange and takes a bite out of it.

rind and all.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu watches in utter silence. Go ahead. Eat the entire goddamn orange whole. He's waiting.]

[broceanic]

...

[he takes a couple more bites without swallowing the rind. this is going badly. it tastes so awful.

after a few moments of intense eye contact, archie swears then gets up and hurls into the bin.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[He doesn't have to say "You idiot" out loud. He's pretty sure Archie already knows it's implied. ...Blech, now he has to take that garbage out later, though.]

[Nanu has not moved from his spot. He continues to stare at Archie and his tone is, somehow, even more flat. Is it disappointment? Who knows.]

Was it worth it?

[broceanic]

[he groans, then ties up the bag when he's done. he will spare nanu from looking at it, at least.]

Don't ask me that. That's my trigger question.

[archie comes back to the table, and donks his head down.]

Why did I do that. I just wanna die now.

[ulaulakahuna]

[Oh, good. He's taking it out when he leaves, too. Archie has no one to blame but himself.]

[Shuffling over with the utensils, he puts everything by the cake and sits down across from el idiota.]

I'm pretty sure I have to ground you now, or something.

[broceanic]

[archie just gives nanu a flat expression.

dryly:] You really want me to stay here?

[ulaulakahuna]

[ulaulakahuna]

Just cut yourself a piece of cake.

[broceanic]

Thought so. You did that to yourself.

[he cuts himself a piece, and nanu. nanu will likely be relived to see that the cake looks just like a normal one all around. no burnt or undercooked bits.]

I mean what it says, you know.

[ulaulakahuna]

[he might have done that to himself, but archie ate an orange rind. nanu still counts it as his win.]

[The cake certainly looks like a cake. Nanu's not a big fan of sweets, but the gesture is thoughtful; one slice won't ruin his day, anyhow.]

Hmh... Considering I spilled an equal amount of beans, I'd say there's no thanks necessary.