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[ulaulakahuna]

[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]

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[ulaulakahuna]

[now it's nanu's turn to roll his eyes]

You bake.

[flatly, not out of the dumb stereotype that delegates women to baking, but out of fear for his life]

[broceanic]

[unfortunately, the expression that crosses his face for a moment seems to indicate he thinks nanu is perpetuating that stereotype.]

I started so I could make poképuffs and poffins cheaper. Why is that so weird? Everyone who journeyed as a kid has some cooking ability, right?

[ulaulakahuna]

Oh, good. I was afraid you'd just started. [it's just as dry as the rest of his tone, but it is better that he knows Archie's been doing it for a long time] ...Don't give me that look. I'm not fond of food poisoning.

[he's absolutely looking at the cake like he's trying to decipher if it's safe, though...]

[broceanic]

I'm thirty three, ya cheeky bastard. I think even I could get to this age and know how to make a goddamn cake.

[huff!]

Give it to your Pokémon if you don't want it. I don't care. [he does care.]

[ulaulakahuna]

You care.

[Krookodile excitedly shifts from one foot to the other. Yes!! Please give to pokémon!!]

[But Nanu just rolls his eyes again, turning to a cupboard and waving a dismissive hand at Archie.]

Sit down, fool, I'll get some plates.

[broceanic]

[despite just asserting his age, archie makes a face that isn't unlike a pouty child who's just been told he's been grounded as he sits in the table seat. he even huffs and crosses his arms.]]

Fine.

[ulaulakahuna]

[He looks back once he has two plates in hand. Hmm...maybe he's been too hard on Archie.]

[...nah]

...Now, you better put on a new attitude if you want dessert, young man.

[broceanic]

You didn't even make me a main course!

[he bangs his fists on the table.]

This family is the worst!

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu goes to grab some forks, too. Might as well eat civilized-like if they're using plates, he guesses.]

[Archie's reply actually gets him to chuckle, though. After getting out forks, he grabs an orange out of a bowl Anabel set on the counter, and then two oran berries. He then sets the shitty excuse for a meal on a plate and puts it in front of Archie.]

There. Don't back-sass me, I spent all day slaving over a hot fruit bowl for you.

[broceanic]

[time to do what he does best: make this weird.

he picks up the orange and takes a bite out of it.

rind and all.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu watches in utter silence. Go ahead. Eat the entire goddamn orange whole. He's waiting.]

[broceanic]

...

[he takes a couple more bites without swallowing the rind. this is going badly. it tastes so awful.

after a few moments of intense eye contact, archie swears then gets up and hurls into the bin.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[He doesn't have to say "You idiot" out loud. He's pretty sure Archie already knows it's implied. ...Blech, now he has to take that garbage out later, though.]

[Nanu has not moved from his spot. He continues to stare at Archie and his tone is, somehow, even more flat. Is it disappointment? Who knows.]

Was it worth it?

[broceanic]

[he groans, then ties up the bag when he's done. he will spare nanu from looking at it, at least.]

Don't ask me that. That's my trigger question.

[archie comes back to the table, and donks his head down.]

Why did I do that. I just wanna die now.

[ulaulakahuna]

[Oh, good. He's taking it out when he leaves, too. Archie has no one to blame but himself.]

[Shuffling over with the utensils, he puts everything by the cake and sits down across from el idiota.]

I'm pretty sure I have to ground you now, or something.

[broceanic]

[archie just gives nanu a flat expression.

dryly:] You really want me to stay here?

[ulaulakahuna]

[ulaulakahuna]

Just cut yourself a piece of cake.

[broceanic]

Thought so. You did that to yourself.

[he cuts himself a piece, and nanu. nanu will likely be relived to see that the cake looks just like a normal one all around. no burnt or undercooked bits.]

I mean what it says, you know.

[ulaulakahuna]

[he might have done that to himself, but archie ate an orange rind. nanu still counts it as his win.]

[The cake certainly looks like a cake. Nanu's not a big fan of sweets, but the gesture is thoughtful; one slice won't ruin his day, anyhow.]

Hmh... Considering I spilled an equal amount of beans, I'd say there's no thanks necessary.

[broceanic]

[he shrugs a little awkwardly, swiveling around on the stool he's on to give krookodile more pats. good boy. archie cups his snout and rubs his fingers along it.]

You didn't have to. It just helped, is all...

[ulaulakahuna]

[Krookodile happily accepts more attention, even if he's disappointed that he's not getting cake.]

[(Two pairs of eyes peek out from underneath the cough, watching the interaction.)]

It did? Huh. [He doesn't start eating yet, just looks at Archie over the cake.] Then I guess taking a walk that night was worth it.

[broceanic]

Y-yeah.

[nanu being so earnest is REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HIM.]

Glad I made it to that bench in my stupor. [his attention is still on krookodile.] Ah... well, both my cargos were delivered. I can get out your hair.

[ulaulakahuna]

[WHOSE FAULT IS THAT, YOU EMOTIONAL MAN]

Nope. [he says with little enthusiasm, though Krookodile agrees] You brought this sugar rush into my house, you're going to eat a part of it before you leave.

[weird threat but ok]

[broceanic]

There's egg in it. I'm a vegetarian.

[that's a bad excuse. mostly because he made it eggless.]