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[ulaulakahuna]

[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]

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[broceanic]

[unfortunately, the expression that crosses his face for a moment seems to indicate he thinks nanu is perpetuating that stereotype.]

I started so I could make poképuffs and poffins cheaper. Why is that so weird? Everyone who journeyed as a kid has some cooking ability, right?

[ulaulakahuna]

Oh, good. I was afraid you'd just started. [it's just as dry as the rest of his tone, but it is better that he knows Archie's been doing it for a long time] ...Don't give me that look. I'm not fond of food poisoning.

[he's absolutely looking at the cake like he's trying to decipher if it's safe, though...]

[broceanic]

I'm thirty three, ya cheeky bastard. I think even I could get to this age and know how to make a goddamn cake.

[huff!]

Give it to your Pokémon if you don't want it. I don't care. [he does care.]

[ulaulakahuna]

You care.

[Krookodile excitedly shifts from one foot to the other. Yes!! Please give to pokémon!!]

[But Nanu just rolls his eyes again, turning to a cupboard and waving a dismissive hand at Archie.]

Sit down, fool, I'll get some plates.

[broceanic]

[despite just asserting his age, archie makes a face that isn't unlike a pouty child who's just been told he's been grounded as he sits in the table seat. he even huffs and crosses his arms.]]

Fine.

[ulaulakahuna]

[He looks back once he has two plates in hand. Hmm...maybe he's been too hard on Archie.]

[...nah]

...Now, you better put on a new attitude if you want dessert, young man.

[broceanic]

You didn't even make me a main course!

[he bangs his fists on the table.]

This family is the worst!

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu goes to grab some forks, too. Might as well eat civilized-like if they're using plates, he guesses.]

[Archie's reply actually gets him to chuckle, though. After getting out forks, he grabs an orange out of a bowl Anabel set on the counter, and then two oran berries. He then sets the shitty excuse for a meal on a plate and puts it in front of Archie.]

There. Don't back-sass me, I spent all day slaving over a hot fruit bowl for you.

[broceanic]

[time to do what he does best: make this weird.

he picks up the orange and takes a bite out of it.

rind and all.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[Nanu watches in utter silence. Go ahead. Eat the entire goddamn orange whole. He's waiting.]

[broceanic]

...

[he takes a couple more bites without swallowing the rind. this is going badly. it tastes so awful.

after a few moments of intense eye contact, archie swears then gets up and hurls into the bin.]

[ulaulakahuna]

[He doesn't have to say "You idiot" out loud. He's pretty sure Archie already knows it's implied. ...Blech, now he has to take that garbage out later, though.]

[Nanu has not moved from his spot. He continues to stare at Archie and his tone is, somehow, even more flat. Is it disappointment? Who knows.]

Was it worth it?

[broceanic]

[he groans, then ties up the bag when he's done. he will spare nanu from looking at it, at least.]

Don't ask me that. That's my trigger question.

[archie comes back to the table, and donks his head down.]

Why did I do that. I just wanna die now.

[ulaulakahuna]

[Oh, good. He's taking it out when he leaves, too. Archie has no one to blame but himself.]

[Shuffling over with the utensils, he puts everything by the cake and sits down across from el idiota.]

I'm pretty sure I have to ground you now, or something.

[broceanic]

[archie just gives nanu a flat expression.

dryly:] You really want me to stay here?

[ulaulakahuna]

[ulaulakahuna]

Just cut yourself a piece of cake.

[broceanic]

Thought so. You did that to yourself.

[he cuts himself a piece, and nanu. nanu will likely be relived to see that the cake looks just like a normal one all around. no burnt or undercooked bits.]

I mean what it says, you know.

[ulaulakahuna]

[he might have done that to himself, but archie ate an orange rind. nanu still counts it as his win.]

[The cake certainly looks like a cake. Nanu's not a big fan of sweets, but the gesture is thoughtful; one slice won't ruin his day, anyhow.]

Hmh... Considering I spilled an equal amount of beans, I'd say there's no thanks necessary.

[broceanic]

[he shrugs a little awkwardly, swiveling around on the stool he's on to give krookodile more pats. good boy. archie cups his snout and rubs his fingers along it.]

You didn't have to. It just helped, is all...

[ulaulakahuna]

[Krookodile happily accepts more attention, even if he's disappointed that he's not getting cake.]

[(Two pairs of eyes peek out from underneath the cough, watching the interaction.)]

It did? Huh. [He doesn't start eating yet, just looks at Archie over the cake.] Then I guess taking a walk that night was worth it.

[broceanic]

Y-yeah.

[nanu being so earnest is REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HIM.]

Glad I made it to that bench in my stupor. [his attention is still on krookodile.] Ah... well, both my cargos were delivered. I can get out your hair.

[ulaulakahuna]

[WHOSE FAULT IS THAT, YOU EMOTIONAL MAN]

Nope. [he says with little enthusiasm, though Krookodile agrees] You brought this sugar rush into my house, you're going to eat a part of it before you leave.

[weird threat but ok]

[broceanic]

There's egg in it. I'm a vegetarian.

[that's a bad excuse. mostly because he made it eggless.]

[ulaulakahuna]

No there's not.

[he knows he wouldn't have baked it that way in the first place!! or...is pretty sure. regardless, he knows how to make himself authoritative even if it's over something petty like this.]

[he taps the empty plate with the knife. eat your cake, archie]