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empatheias contact post

[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]

[ That's because there's no logical comeback. She's right on it and she knows that. Her phrasing, she realizes, might evoke something else and for the flash second that she considers that... she accepts that she would be fine with that assumption. Even if it turned into nothing or meant nothing to him, although she'd hope that perhaps it might bolster his ego or make him feel less as if he's undesired. She's not sure how to convey that she truly, genuinely means that there's no one else she'd rather be stuck here with. Looker was a close second, but even if she was forced with a decision she knows the answer.

It's the same answer it's always been.

Perhaps too intimate in gesture, at this point the Skitty is out of the bag and there's no turning back. If he can take anything away from her touch -- any of the way she touches him -- then she knows that she's succeeded.

The silence on both ends feels thick and invasive, more invasive than exchanging a conversation just in their minds. Like fear is manifesting and holding them down, choking back words. Maybe she's just projecting and it is only her? She doesn't know.

That he pulls away isn't disappointing; he still keeps contact of his own volition and somehow that is more reassuring and feels better in a way than anything else thus far. Even if it's exclusively for her sake, it's still something wonderful and new. Something she can't deny she's desired, even if she can feel a chill run through her and goosebumps start to raise. ]

Then I don't have anything to say because you understand that. [ The phrasing. Deserving better. Than what? What exactly was their relationship anymore? It was so convoluted. Not rocky, but still uncertain. The original definition blurred long ago and still remained illegible. ] Thank you.

[ For the compliments. For accepting how she feels. For being here, for... whatever this is. That he'd rather have her than anyone else. His own phrasing a match for hers and she's unsure how to progress. Naturally, she supposes?

No pushing, though she can feel the gloss over her eyes when she sadly shakes her head. ]

You're worth my time. You can act like a bit of a wretch, but you aren't. I wish I could do something so you wouldn't feel so... miserable. [ She clasps onto him, holding onto his arm as she leans in now, pressing her head to his heart. ] Even if you don't mean that, it's alright. I just want to be here, with you. So... if you don't mind, I'd like to stay here again. With you.

[Hesitantly - very hesitantly - he leans down a bit until his head is resting on top of hers. At least, on top of her hair; it's such a foreign gesture to him that he's not putting the full weight into the lean. The pillow-like puff of her hair helps to create a sort of barrier, but it's still obvious he's holding her close.]

[Her words aren't reassuring, like they should be. They wouldn't be, of course, as nice as they are coming from her. He's miserable because he makes himself miserable, that much is obvious. It doesn't stop the self-hate and deprecation, nor what he believes is fact: she deserves much, much better than him. But now isn't the time to harp on it, both due to circumstance and the firm knowledge that Anabel would continue to rebuke his beliefs. She always saw better in people, Nanu knows, and someone so entangled in her life as he is would be far from an exception.]

[It's awfully hard for him to understand.]

[He swallows, hard, silent as he listens to her as they both lean into the other's touch. Though he makes sure his breath doesn't hitch, the way his fingers subtly squeeze is proof that her words are affecting him. And when the last couple of sentences come around, his breath stops for a few seconds too long and his head dips even further into her hair.]

...I mean it.

[Too quiet, almost muttered. He's sounded exceedingly depressed this entire time, but that made it a little worse; if only because she had phrased it like he might have been simply placating her instead of really, truly meaing it.]

If you think you can stomach me, after all this... I'd never turn you away. I would hope you know that.

[ She's aware of it. Not just because she can feel the way he moves otherwise, though. This is something new to her, something she hasn't felt before, so she's... intimately aware of it. His touch is nearly electrifying the closer he gets and it takes some effort not to just deadweight against him and just stay this way as long as he'll allow.

Anabel isn't sure if she is able to affect him, although she didn't think she would to begin with and look at how things had gone when she'd left. She just wants him to feel different than he has while she was gone and the way he seems to be internally. All he had to do was just listen to her and hear what she is saying. Maybe if she carried on this way that he might eventually take it to heart. He touches her and she can't help but subtly lean into it, tilt her head upward so she can really feel him against her when he seems to do the same.

She breathes him in and it comforts her, makes her feel safe. He's always made her feel so safe.

It's then that it really dawns on her. Between his rugged appearance and the way he holds onto her as much as she does him that things have changed -- or perhaps they just were as they always had been but now with clarity. Clear rather than fogged over, something clicking into place and stirring up the start of a revelation that somewhere she's always known. ]

I've never struggled to enjoy your company, not even when you've tried to push me away. [ She understood why all the better now and in many ways, it only had her feelings entrenched more deeply. Made them much brighter and stronger. ] I... I do hope you truly mean that. I do not wish to be with anyone else, so I... [ It would devastate me. ] I just want to be with you again.

Edited (ugh my hands are messing everything up today) 2018-07-27 03:33 (UTC)

[He'd accept that deadweight. Just to be able to hold her so close, after weeks of miserable loneliness and self-neglect, consumed by guilt and believing she would never - and should never - come back... It's an odd sort of relief, when he tries to think about it from her perspective, but relief nonetheless.]

[Nanu does not want to let her go.]

[Breathing in the scent of her hair and the soft tuft underneath his chin, reminds him of lilac gardens and Whimsicott in the wind and Poni Meadow with the elegant Sensu Style Oricorio who dance there. The warmth of her weight against his, reminds him of the panic of her ill-fated arrival on the ocean shore and the way she felt in his arms as he placed her on the stretcher and the relief of finding out she was going to make a full recovery. Her words of comfort and longing, reminds him that she is her own person who has endured far too much for any one person to handle and despite everything she finds solace in him. They find solace in each other.]

[Anabel reminds him of home.]

[Gently, almost minutely, Nanu holds her tighter.]

...I'd like that.

[ Somewhere, the knowledge that he holds those feelings of his so close float around. She knows, she knows that he is thinking something pessimistic instead of just seeing things blatant, as they are and as they hover and care deeply between the two.

She's careful in how she keeps him near, like his heart is held between his hands still and with the slightest squeeze it may very well burst. But she's sure he doesn't realize he has that power over her or this situation and wouldn't even consider it if he did. Instead... she wonders if perhaps, she actually does have all the power right now? He seems to be suggesting it and that makes her feel unraveled somewhat. ]

I'm... I'm glad. So don't be like this, alright? You're not alone, Nanu. You've never been alone -- not since we've met, anyway. Here or back home, even if all of this is forgotten, I... [ It's starting to fall into place. Piece by piece. Each word, each thought, each feeling. She should know by now. What she feels. ] Alright? You should go pay attention to your pokemon; they're worried, you know. As worried as I've been.

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empatheias contact post

I KNOW I WANT MOIST EYES

THAT'S WHAT THIS THREAD IS FOR

UM THIS IS ALL NICE AND GOOD AND NOT SAD THO

GOOD THINGS BRING TEARS TOO

EXACTLY YOU UNDERSTAND FINALLY