Nanu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ulaulakahuna) wrote2018-05-31 07:06 pm
ulaulakahuna) wrote2018-05-31 07:06 pm
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empatheias contact post
[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]
[ for private telepathy, face-to-face, or if you're just dropping by... ]
no subject
[Nanu sighs, setting his mug on the coffee table. That's a loaded question, and one that would normally have been met with a laundry list of snide remarks. Now that things have changed—and Guzma so clearly broken by this—the idea is nothing more than a fleeting thought in the back of his mind. ...Even if this is nearly the equivalent of a high schooler moping from being rejected by their crush.]
[First, though, he definitely caught that reaction to the coffee, and Nanu finally remembers that all of Guzma's teeth are sweet. It's early, okay? He gets up with a groan and pops back into the kitchen, though responding on the way instead of appearing to ignore or put off the other man.]
Have you done something like this before? [He's quick to return, no more than a few seconds, and sets down a small jar and spoon: sugar. Then he returns to his seat, settling in again.] That might be part of it.
[For once, no judgement here. Nanu couldn't possibly care any less about other people's romantic exploits or lack thereof. Again: even if this is the equivalent of a high schooler moping from being rejected by their crush...]
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When Nanu rises from his seat, Guzma looks at him with a little bit of surprise—but when Nanu replies, it settles him. There was a light fear that Nanu was just going to blow him off. This newly formed relationship of theirs was still in its infancy, still new, and it's a fragile thing.]
Not really, no.
[He answers without thinking as he puts probably far too many spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee. This might be moping like a high schooler over a rejected crush, but he takes his coffee like a goddamn elementary schooler. It's not till he's stirring it in that he realizes how that might have sounded, and with a bit of needless gruffness he adds:]
Not that I ain't been laid plenty of times—don't twist this into somethin' it ain't. It's more I ain't really one for... this sorta shit.
[What he means is feelings, if that wasn't obvious. Not that he hasn't had them plenty, but he's never been one to actively pursue them like this. Even with his misplaced feelings for Lusamine, feelings he still isn't fully certain on anymore, it was a situation more under her control, than his. And even then, she was hardly good news for him.
This whole thing with Jill, it was different. More vulnerable, more trust, more care. For once he wasn't getting himself wrapped up in trouble, and even then it ended up hurting him.]
no subject
[Just because he doesn't care about other people's exploits doesn't mean he's cool with hearing about them.]
[Not that he's going to act like a child, like some other fellows in the room. But that's what he brought the sugar out for; and when he finally breaks that deadpan, "seriously, Guzma" stare, it's to take a sip from his plain coffee. He can't tell if Guzma knows that he already knows it's about Jill. Blurting it out apropos of nothing, as is Nanu's usual wont, seems a little too callous. And while not nearly as severe as the changes the other man's made since their pact, Nanu's modifying some of his own ways as well.]
So, then. You going to tell me more about it?
[The incident, for Tapu's sake, please, not a play-by-play of his sexual escapades.]
no subject
Placing his glasses besides him, he does finally reach over to pet Persian, appreciating the feel of her soft fur against his rough hand. There's just nothing like petting a Pokèmon to sooth one's emotions. Of course it's hardly a cure all, but it helps.
Of course the shithead part of Guzma definitely entertains the thought of derailing this due to Nanu's vagueness of what he's asking him to talk about, but the part of him that's still hurting and has respect for the older man keeps him in check. Maybe another time he'll regale Nanu on shit he never asked to hear, but not now.]
...Yeah.
[He takes a sip of his coffee, now more tan in color than the black bitter abyss it was before. Tolerable, but it's no Tapu Cocoa.]
I dunno exactly why I thought it was a good idea, lookin' back it seems so damn stupid... but, it made sense at the time. She and me've known each other for a while now, yeah? And we get on great, figured it'd just make sense if we... took shit past just bein' friends. Ain't like we haven't been a little intimate in the past—not that we fucked or nothin', but...
[His mind, of course, goes to the night of her return. When she broke out of that crystal. The emotions there were deep and real, and then they held each other and slept in each other's arms... Guzma's not sure what he was supposed to make of that, how he was supposed to interpret it.]
Maybe I'm just an idiot, and I saw things that weren't there.
[Which is entirely possible when you're this lonely and you're looking for attention, validation, and acknowledgment. And here's Jill, giving him all of that and more. Making a positive difference in his life, when the person before her who did that was anything but positive.]
Ji—She wasn't cruel or nothin' when she let me down. But maybe... I kinda wish she had been. Mighta been easier if I could have been mad at more than myself.
[Taking his hand from Persian, he runs it through his messy hair, his expression hardening to a frustrated and pained scowl as his eyes focus on the contents of his cup.]
...Even then, I don't think I'd have been mad at her, even if she did treat me like shit during that whole thing.