ulaulakahuna | empatheias contact post

[ She's as prepared as she can be for this, now. It's been a thought for months now in passing and a more intensely intrusive one for the past weeks. It's something she can't shake, something she has a sincere need to bring to light. Today alone, she has waited. From first light -- as she often wakes -- and through simple daily tasks, the average tending to of the berries outside, feeding pokemon, and showering them with attention before showering and doing a bit of cleaning. It's still early when she finishes -- before noon -- and she gathers herself up and tells herself she's being silly.

Anabel takes her time outside his bedroom door. Hand curled like the knots in her stomach before she raises it higher and knocks at the door frame. She waits a moment and opens the door, peeking in slightly. ]

Good afternoon. May I have some of your time?

[ That... probably isn't how she should've started this. ]

[Nanu's been up for the necessary morning routines, but found himself staying in his room once he'd gotten dressed. It's mostly Persian's fault, honestly; who is he to say no when she leans half her body weight on him and demands attention? The other pokémon are fed, he can spare the time. He wouldn't dare interrupt the lawnmower purr she's got going right now.]

[The knock on his door can't be anyone else. He practically has her specific knock memorized, besides.]

Hmh? [is his efficient reply before the door opens, not making a move to get up or stop the petting session he and Persian are in the middle of. As always, Anabel is the pinnacle of politeness. Nanu shifts his head to look at her directly when she peeks in.]

[The way she words it is a little... --well. Not inpersonal, because that's not the kind of person she is. But it's also bluntly succinct in a way she usually isn't with him. He raises his signature eyebrow.]

Yeah? ...Somethin' wrong?

[ She doesn't expect him to spend every waking hour with her -- honestly, a little is fine. It's more than she's had up until now and she'll take anything he's willing to offer her. She doesn't think she's unexpected, but she hadn't really thought of her word choice and how it might be misconstrued until she got to the very point of her discussion. ]

Hello. [ She responds, honestly glad he's not disturbed Persian. Her eyes focus on the two fondly and she's silently thankful for the life she's started to build here with him, for a moment this comfortable and normal to be part of her life. ] Oh, no, nothing like that.

[ But she'd asked for his time, not just taken it or asked if he might want to do something with her. It occurs to her that it might sound strange or maybe as if she's about to ask him to do something he might not like. Which... might be the case. ]

I, ah... I was just wondering. [ She wishes she could just let it out since she's had this quiet little Wish for a while now. ] Are you comfortable in here?

[ The mark was missed. ]

[He means to spend more time with her. But they're both private people and need to be alone just like anyone else - and honestly, it's more comfortable that way. If Anabel asks for time, though, or even just a moment like she's doing now, he has no qualms for making the time. Even if it starts off a little awkwardly like this.]

[Persian stretches out, paws flexing off of the bed. Her purring has died down, but it can probably still be heard, like a calm background noise. She always seems to look at the two of them with a kind of Knowing smile, and upon Anabel's question, that feeling is doubled.]

[Nanu just looks at her for a minute.]

...What, like right now? [shrugs] It's alright. The cold makes it less stuffy.

[His mark is in the opposite direction, over his head.]

...Why?

[ Anabel notices Persian's movement, but not the sly look she has. It seems omnipresent to her and normally, she'd make the time to greet one of her favorite girls first. This time, however, Anabel addresses Nanu more directly. There's that queasy feeling inside of her -- mostly because she'd been so candid and never had to ask something like this before. Everything just felt understood before, even being together as they are now.

She feels standing makes this more tense and somehow the last part makes her think he might believe she may ask him to move out. Or something like that. So, she sidles up and where there's room on the edge of the mattress, she plants herself and gently runs her hand over Persian's back. ]

It's a little cold in here, but no. [ She doesn't mean to leave it hanging like that. Flushed with a red nose, she lets a hand settle on her neck and half-looks over at the two of them. ] I do not mean to put any pressure on you or our relationship, but I thought that... perhaps you'd like to -- [ Flustered, her words aren't quite as solid. -- that you'd consider moving into my room? With... with me?

[ She understands there's other intimacies implied with it. But they've been involved now for what? Four months? That's certainly longer than most would spend before sleeping with (beside?) one another. ]

[The giant, smug cat only becomes more powerful. Anabel's question strikes Nanu in surprise, but he can feel Persian slowly turn to look at him in his peripheral. He moves his hand to her overly fluffy face and turns it away.]

[He sits up as she sits down, acquiring his full attention. Though he doesn't answer right away. The silence that would normally uncomfortable and awkward is undercut by their proximity to each other, and the fact that Nanu's not trying to avoid her gaze. He's not going to pretend the question wasn't unexpected for him, and the surprise is probably evident on his face. Part of it is Anabel's own uncertainty in even asking the question. She's usually the one with the most collected demeanor in this department.]

[But, he knows she wouldn't ask at all unless she was sure about the idea herself.]

Uh, [is the smooth start to his reply, followed by a clearing of his throat.] Is that...what you want...?

[Even though he knows the answer to that. Nanu's normally old-fashioned, and the length of time between stages of a relationship differ among them. But Anabel's different, and the exception to many rules. Their relationship has been an exception since they met.]

[Still...it's like he needs to hear the confirmation up-front; much like how sometimes she needs to hear things from him point blank. He's not opposed to the idea. It's just...it's a big step. And from Anabel's tripping over words, she understands that, too.]

[ Anabel just thinks she's an absolute delight, as ever. What a wonderful lady Persian is, taking care of Nanu and keeping him warm. But that's a cheap distraction. Anabel knows the reality of all of this, she knows that there's more to it than just them sitting with one of their favorite pokemon sprawled out between them. It would be so much easier to discuss this sort of... intimacy if she were alone.

Somehow the thought of a reaction -- regardless of what -- unnerves her.

Her smile is weak, but without hurt or discomfort. Just uncertainty and affection, unsure if she's pushing a little too hard too quickly. It seemed as if it wouldn't be an issue, although were it anyone else in the time they'd been here, she certainly wouldn't be living with them let alone suggesting something like this. But why not? She's dozed off beside him on more than one occasion, either in the living room or a bedroom and sometimes she couldn't help but notice the emptiness, the lack of when it was just her. ]

I'm not... I mean, as things are, I would not mind it. I understand you like your space and your privacy and it... [ Would be a new thing for her. She's shared a bed romantically and otherwise before, but not long-term. ] If you are fine with it, of course. I am content as things are without any change.

[ But she'd asked, despite that.

She shifts a little, unsure if this is some strange crack in their relationship, revealing a new layer. Something different, something neither of them might really be prepared for. She's willing to try, though. Anabel lifts herself slightly from the bed to reach over Persian and tentatively drift her fingers over his shoulder, stretching them into a light caress when leaning in to press her mouth to his. Not quite chaste, but certain to not lack in feeling. It's quick, though. Quick and sweet and her hand is sliding over his bicep to settle in the crook of his elbow. ]

You make me happy, that is all.

[Persian forces her face through his fingers. She has a front row seat to this. All the other pokémon will be so jealous.]

[Not that Nanu notices. His hand just sort of falls from her face and onto the cover of his bed. His messy, unmade, no-frills, does-what-it's-supposed-to-and-nothing-else bed. The bed he shares with his beloved pokémon; who, while they are irreplaceable companions, help an entirely different loneliness than what has plagued him for years. When was the last time he physically slept next to another person? He'd be lying if he said the times when Anabel nodded off on his shoulder (or vice-versa) didn't fill an empty hole in his psyche with a warm feeling.]

[Somehow, he manages to listen while these thoughts cross his mind. Talking seriously like this is always a double-edged sword to him. She says the most wonderful things and makes him feel...human. But he hasn't quite gotten past the fear of irreparably fucking up what they have, if he even will.]

[Her words never fail to give him that undeniable feeling of being loved, though. If she can't see it in the way his eyes soften just looking at her, then she can probably tell by the way the room starts to blur around them like fogged-up glass.]

[Of course, any answer he might have been brewing is interrupted by Anabel's encroachment and the gesture that follows. Nanu doesn't have time to reciprocate like he wants to, as she pulls away fairly quickly, but the way his hand almost instinctively reaches out to hers might clue her in. Her next words strike a one-hit KO to his heart and suddenly he feels like they're adolescents figuring out confessions to one another.]

[Distracted by her words, Nanu leans forward and brushes a few stray hairs from Anabel's face behind her ear.] Yeah...you're pretty good at that, yourself, you know.

[ Anabel doesn't notice, though if she had... she might use it as a distraction. A small scratch of her head, fingers between her eyes and against the bridge of her nose in a soft stroke. But right now, caring too much about her surroundings would only make this more difficult.

She wants to be here, in this moment. With him.

Anabel has noticed that his bed is nearly bare bones; not necessarily uncomfortable, but perhaps less wonderful than it could be. Less soft, less cradling of neck and body. Nothing extra to provide something more, something to delight. It's just a place to lay. Hers was bigger, too. Large enough to accommodate her pokemon although not quite Raikou or Entei, but certainly enough to leave some space between her, Nanu, and say, Persian.

It's something she's thought about for a while. Considered in a tactile way. Comfort, closeness, their bodies nearer than usual. Would he be alright with it all the time, every night? To wake up beside her versus just... occasionally? He liked space, but was he willing to sacrifice that? She didn't want him to.

Somehow she's not surprised when he reaches for her. Without second thought, her fingers lace through his and the pads press just above his knuckles, locking over his. His nearness has her heart thrum, but not rushed. It's soft and comfortable and lovely when she leans into his touch. ]

I'm glad to hear that. I do try to aim for that. [ She adjusts herself, scooting a little closer, just minutely. Just enough. Anabel isn't sure if it's him or her right now, but she thinks that it might be her. That warmth that connects between them and bounces back like a space heater near them. ] Are you... would you like to, then?

[Even his room is bare-bones, though that shouldn't surprise her. He'd gotten pet beds at the same time she did, so of course his pokémon are better taken care of than himself. Anabel's room was always (and would be always) what someone would think of as a proper room, and it's just so...her. If the two of them hadn't had that long talk when they decided to try a relationship out, Nanu would probably be telling her that he'd soil her room just by being in it.]

[That doesn't stop him from thinking it. But at least he's not trying to come up with a list of excuses. When had that ever worked in the first place? And he finds he doesn't really want to stop this idea.]

[It's not about space or lack thereof, anyway. Neither of them spend all day in their rooms (though he's definitely winning in that contest). The most extreme change would be sleeping next to each other... and whatever might come after they've settled into this new, shy routine.]

I, ah... [His free hand goes to rub the back of his neck again; a nervous tic.] ...You're sure about this?

[Okay, so Nanu may be past trying to list his faults, but he can still soften the emotional tension by using them anyway. It's all obvious in his voice, besides; he's about as comfortable with this situation as Anabel is, okay with the idea and yet worried it might change things too much.]

[It's also evident in the half-assed excuse he uses next, tightening his grip on her hand as if subconsciously letting her know he's not entirely serious.] I snore, you know.

[ She's never surprised that he takes better care of his team than he does himself. She's offered the argument before of taking care of himself -- better, of course -- is showing his team that he cares about them just as well, but she's attempted every angle. Anabel only considers that he might not be interested out of his own stubbornness... or, more specifically, she feels that way even more because of it. If he wouldn't make himself more comfortable for himself or his pokemon, would he do it for her?

Oh, she hoped so. She hoped so, so very much. ]

Am I ever uncertain in regard to something that is important to me?

[ She doesn't mean to be so... proper right now. It's not easy to talk like this, though. Anabel smiles warmly, unable to cease with her bright and widespread grin even as she tries to ease it into something more manageable. She feels so strongly for him and only a single word really can describe it, though she hesitates to let it in just yet. Not quite now. ]

It's alright. Haven't you heard Raikou? Sometimes it sounds like a strike of thunder. If you find you're uncomfortable, I won't hold it against you for coming back into here, but... in the meantime, I would be delighted to lay beside you.

[ Just like her to push it as far as she does, embarrassing to an extent of utter devotion with her. Anabel squeezes his hand back, poking her fingers through his, flexing them playfully. ]

[Anabel's one of a few people in the pool above him in his hierarchy, shared by his pokémon. Of course he'd do it for her. But, just like her other attempts to get him to realize he's more than what he thinks, she's also taught him that it can't be the basis of a decision. At least, not in their relationship, and not a decision like this. If he says he'll agree just because it'll make her happy, she'll want it to mean something to him too.]

[And it does. Nanu's still just pitiful at representing it.]

Maybe. [Teasingly. Though if she wasn't her usual perpetually proper self, he'd wonder if something was wrong.] But I guess if you can sleep through that overgrown Luxray, I'm no contest.

[It's the first hint of a "yes". But he knows that she likes direct answers, and this is too brittle a subject to goof on it like he usually does.]

Oh, is that all? Anyone can do that. [he goofs anyway, the only way he can try and dissolve the weird emotional tension. It's lighthearted, but what he says next is framed a little more seriously.] And I guess I don't mind, either.

I know you're certain, but, uh... why don't we keep it on a...trial basis at first. In case you come to...regret it.

[ Anabel notices. She always notices, even if it is the smallest thing and she's patient, she doesn't need anything pronounced and grand. Frankly, the carefulness of his affection and admittance was more her pace and truthfully, she couldn't be more content. The thrill of this was a delight and perhaps the idea of it being sooner comes to her, but what was the point of worrying over wasted time? They were getting there now, at their own speed.

Whatever there was between them, it was good enough for her as-is and perhaps better in the future. She wasn't sure that she could be happier than now, but she's willing to have an open mind for it. ]

I would suggest you keep that commentary to yourself, he might not be thrilled if he heard such a comparison.

[ He was a prideful pokemon at times and Nanu knew that, of course. Anabel laughs at his little joke, but it's the rest of what he says that has her hold onto his hand and dip in to kiss him again. The corner of his mouth quickly, then her cheek against his, then lips to his cheekbone. ]

Of course. I don't think that I will, but it needn't be a trial if either of us find it's... not for us. Thank you for entertaining my request.

[It's still a tentative sort of hopeful, or looking-forward-to. He thinks again on how it's been a stretch since the last time he was ever this serious with someone to warrant using the same bedroom—and even then, it still wasn't as serious as things between him and Anabel are now. Theirs is a different kind of seriousness, deeper than just the attachment to each other when they first met, as Nanu first erroneously thought.]

[He likes it now. That's good enough for him too.]

I'd never say it within earshot. I don't want to mess up our rep. [His window is shut. He is safe...for now.]

[Anabel's little kisses are a force to be reckoned with, just like she is. Sometimes Nanu can barely keep up mentally, usually making his attempt to prolong the kiss at the very last second. Somehow, he's not used to it yet, and every little thing gets him.]

'Entertaining your request' makes it sound like I'm just humoring you. [He's not accusing her of anything, though, just pointing out how it was worded.] But you're right. I don't know if I can handle the switch to a bed actually made for sleeping.

[Persian yowls. She can.]

[ She's shared her space with others, but never in anything of a sense of permanency; not even another room of her home or a trial basis. It was only fitting that it was him that she'd experience this sort of settled-in with. The person she has always cared for most, amplified by their time alone with one another. She could pick through the little things that frustrated her and made her laugh -- often at the same time. She wanted more of that. Closer. Closer, still.

Impossibly close. ]

You are, after all, the only human he seems to genuinely like other than Looker -- although he often will give Looker a difficult time just for the sake of it...

[ Of course he would. He's a little too much like Nanu at times, she quietly muses. She hadn't started with intent for a response, but she's more than happy to let it linger, to cherish each moment they have like this. Of all people, she knows how fleeting things can be. How quickly you may forget and lose what you have grown to adore or even treat as commonplace. She didn't want to have any regrets if one of them disappeared tomorrow or if they both went home and forgot.

Anabel wants to believe that naturally she and Nanu would end up here again, someday, but she wonders how long it would take for the variables to slip into place again? Not as long as she thinks -- that's what she hopes. ]

Hardly, were you humoring me you'd stay put or make excuses. [ He'd been the one to say "trial" first, after all. ] Oh no, whatever will you do if you actually sleep? Right?

[ She naturally is asking the last part of Persian, smiling at her with the same fondness she holds for her trainer. ]

[If anyone told him a year ago that he would be in a serious relationship with anyone—let alone Anabel—and soon moving into the same bed together, he would have laughed one of his lungs out. Then again, if anyone told him he would be in this exact situation and in a completely different world with them, it might be very different...]

Oh yeah? Remind me to give him some extra poké beans later.

[Sounds like him! Ah, that mutual respect; he knew he loved Raikou for a damn good reason. And not just because of the way Anabel's trained him. He also makes a note to himself to ask her later about specific stories of that nature.]

[Nowadays, he tries not to think about what will happen when they inevitably return home. How neither of them will remember; how they'll blink out of existence here and back into the UB fiasco. How Anabel and Looker will end up returning to HQ and their jobs and their lives, and Nanu will return to...being Nanu. He used to want to go back home. Now, the scales have changed weight.]

[He tries to knock those thoughts out of his skull. A little quirk of the corner of his mouth, a chuckle at Anabel's comment to Persian. The latter of which gives another pleased yarl, stretching in place. Her head rubs against Anabel's leg, while her own legs intentionally get in Nanu's way.]

Hey, it might be too much. Remember when we first moved in? Going from a couch to an actual mattress? Almost died from the shock.

[When we first moved in. Just the reminder warms his heart.]

[ She wouldn't necessarily disagree with his sentiment were someone to approach her with a claim that is similar, but to agree to it would seem just as odd to her. Perhaps not if suggesting it would be Nanu -- she could logic herself into believing the possibility of it -- but the idea of being like this, together, was something she never thought she'd have. Settling down with someone else, in one place... she loved her job, but if she could have this back home, she might be willing to resign and do something more localized.

It's difficult to think about "back home," because to her knowledge they'd lose all of this. She has to wonder how much were highly specific variables and wouldn't lead them to the same place in their relationship unless they were like this...

Her attention falls more on Persian, her fingers pressing for a soft pet around her ears and her gaze is on her, absolutely delighted. ]

Hm, perhaps only for you. I think she's been wanting something a little more solid for a while. [ She doesn't quite realize that her phrasing falls to their entire situation, not just a bed. ] One might think you'd stop slouching sometime soon, perhaps.

[ Nearly a year now like this together. ]

[ continued here ]

[ really ]

empatheias contact post

probably valentine's idk

close enough

NAILED it

🍰✨

when u use the icon in the gif

double the old man double the fun

i don't think you should say things like that

i don't see the problem

SUCKS IN LIPS

sike! i am filled with regret

now you understand my life

do you regret this

never surrender

💪💪💪

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