You're being uncharacteristically considerate of me, you know. I may get the wrong idea if you keep pushing me like this.
[ She hopes that might silence him on the subject, but... at the same time, it isn't untrue is it? Or maybe not. Maybe just visually and vocally. She's had the sense for some time now that she's never been quite aware of the distance he's gone for her, at least since that day that she returned back here. ]
If it becomes unbearable, I will call her. For now, I'm alright. [ The words aren't so ragged as they'd been, but she still takes pauses between each word that surely are noticeable to someone as astute as he is. ] I apologize. It's... easier, I think for me to get lost in my thoughts like this, especially negative ones. I'm not sure if it is the pain or the inherent involvement of our emotions in this world.
[ She doesn't quite realize what she'd allowed to slip there, that she does get lost in her thoughts, that she has negative ones, and that she's in pain despite her reassurances. His words as he carries do more than his lack of movement does this time and clearly embarrassed, she slowly shifts away, hands still present and slight, like a Helping Hand just with more affection attached to it. Fingers light and pulling away as she manages to sit up straight and slowly settle them awkwardly into her lap, like they're too visible now and just the awareness of them might bring something up from him. Scorning, perhaps.
Scorning? But... how so? Why that? It feels like something she should know, should be able to feel and pinpoint. But she doesn't know. Something to chase down, something she might have already been tailing; a strange feeling that nearly shakes her inside. It's on the cusp of something, ready to tumble over and let the words form in her mind and on her tongue. In truth, it frightens her because she knows. It's there and she knows. ]
...yes, of course. I should be... more mindful.
[ But she misses the hard edges of his body already. The shape of him. ]
no subject
[ She hopes that might silence him on the subject, but... at the same time, it isn't untrue is it? Or maybe not. Maybe just visually and vocally. She's had the sense for some time now that she's never been quite aware of the distance he's gone for her, at least since that day that she returned back here. ]
If it becomes unbearable, I will call her. For now, I'm alright. [ The words aren't so ragged as they'd been, but she still takes pauses between each word that surely are noticeable to someone as astute as he is. ] I apologize. It's... easier, I think for me to get lost in my thoughts like this, especially negative ones. I'm not sure if it is the pain or the inherent involvement of our emotions in this world.
[ She doesn't quite realize what she'd allowed to slip there, that she does get lost in her thoughts, that she has negative ones, and that she's in pain despite her reassurances. His words as he carries do more than his lack of movement does this time and clearly embarrassed, she slowly shifts away, hands still present and slight, like a Helping Hand just with more affection attached to it. Fingers light and pulling away as she manages to sit up straight and slowly settle them awkwardly into her lap, like they're too visible now and just the awareness of them might bring something up from him. Scorning, perhaps.
Scorning? But... how so? Why that? It feels like something she should know, should be able to feel and pinpoint. But she doesn't know. Something to chase down, something she might have already been tailing; a strange feeling that nearly shakes her inside. It's on the cusp of something, ready to tumble over and let the words form in her mind and on her tongue. In truth, it frightens her because she knows. It's there and she knows. ]
...yes, of course. I should be... more mindful.
[ But she misses the hard edges of his body already. The shape of him. ]